A Seat at The Table

Most days I wake up and come home to an empty table. Reading the newspaper to 2 chairs and extending my compliments to the chef after dinner..Don't get me wrong I love living alone. Peace and love radiates from every square inch of my home. I have room to dance, bath tub acoustics to sing with, milk cartons to drink directly and freely from. It does make a difference when you can do these things in good company though.

Monday to Friday I spend 1hr a day sitting amongst 10-50 hard working individuals. The time of socialite interaction and nourishment consumption is divided into 2 , 15 minutes and 1,  30 minute parts known as "lunch" and "break". ..But it's kind of like a fancy cage where all the animals in the kingdom get to ease any stresses. I hope that doesn't sound awful.. like hunger is a stress and the food in the cafe is phenomenal!

Usually I sit with my little group of common folk. However there are times when the microwaves are all full so I have to wait. Or it's the day everyones favourite menu special is being served and by the time I can find our table it may be full. Sometimes it feels like being the last one picked from the litter. Other times it's a great opportunity to try my wings for a flight out of the nest and mingle with other clans.

I met 2 humans from maintenance who made inside jokes or talked small about fixing , finishing and frustrations. Than came 2 from the offices and 1 from waste management. Suddenly the table was a department zoo. Eyeing each others food, for small talk purposes. Questioning of territory, out of curiosity. And of course , as all hard working people do, a joke or ten about the relief to come at 3:00pm.

This must have been the table sought out by all those who didn't get a seat at their regular tables. We created a common ground despite the objectives and locations of our duties having little to no similarity.

There is so much to learn in our daily interactions. Especially when we are just enough out of our comfort zone. By "just enough" I mean not to far out that we feel paralyzed by the headlights of unfamiliarity but not to close that we snuggle in and shut the world out. 

Me and my humble abode gained a friend. Another couch surfer in search of shelter and a friendly welcomer! He is a wise and conscious being who has traveled far in this life and in many worlds. I would like to make next weeks bloggetry entirely about him so I won't give too much away. 

Although this week is busy with artisan projects and Christmas gifting, I thought I would have just enough time to accommodate a fellow, so from yesterday until Sunday we will share mornings and good company! Leaving but one empty chair at my table that proves more useful as a foot rest anyways.

Often in or in pursuit of a more comfortious environment I tend to isolate myself. To get things done, to avoid social awkwardness for self loathing or selfishness. It's not always a bad thing! But everything in moderation right. I had to make adjustments to my comforts to prepare a bit more for my guest. Again nothing bad. For me it's about learning something /someone new and the joy of pure humane efforts. 

Sitting along day and night (goodness that sounds so sad..) gives you a lot of time to think. What recipes should I practice for when company is over, do I need a new table cloth.. could I be getting something else done, for myself or for someone?

Having a being to bounce those thoughts and energies off of is a nice change. Especially when you share a language on a different frequency than English.

This time of year people ,places and things seem to be more hasty. Mostly in pursuits of providing others with comforts and preparing common grounds. You don't have to lose your ground, your title , your seat at the table.. when you spend time on others or yourself! Or perhaps you need to evaluate the seat and make a conscious decision. An uncomfortable decision. One where you are a bit removed from the rewards of your personal comforts.

or like whatever. Happy Wednesday... until next time , let the suspense of my mysterious wiseman build <3 <3

Backed Up

I have been experiencing a creative block. A lackadaise. A nasty procrastination bug. With December fast approaching and scheduled to keep my hands busy, this congestion of unenthusiastic excuses is like a phlegm clogging my artistic airways.

Than there is the infamous, influential and in relating to another source of oomph that is 

insufficient in my life.. money.

December 2nd I am participating in St. Alexanders Church Bazaar! I'm uber excited as it is my first artisan crafty event this year. I've been perfecting the recipe for my chai tea annnddd experimenting with pickling so I'm ready to talk for hours, over biscuits and lush scarves , with the all G-Mama's .

21 years old with the hobbies of a 89 year old woman. Currently with the same energy level. 

HELP ME.

I thought it was "S.A.D" aka Seasonal Depression. So I bought plants, changed to brighter linens around my apartment and bought a delightful variety of scented wax for my burner. I also got a green winter jacket and some fashun accessories ...retail therapy..

Keeping up with friends ,family , loved ones is important always. Keeping my week back to back to back with dinners, shopping, movies.... instead of advertising, display prepping and creating... ahhhhh. WHATS A GIRL TO DO.  I HAVE 2 WEEKS UNTIL THE BAZAAR.

I have 3 things I really need to put 100% of my energy into from now until the New Year. The bazaar is the first big bang so hopefully my curbed enthusiasm will expire with my Netflix free month trial.

Most people gain "winter weight" . It's cold and miserable outside.. Food is literally warm love. But my binging has to stop! The overindulgence should leave me feeling full of artisan flatulence. Not regret after my 67th plate at the buffet.

Okay so maybe I'm exaggerating and this is but a needed rest period. I have been working 6 days a week the past 4 weeks... I getting like 13 hours of sleep on the 7th day....

730 pm - 830 am ...SO GOOD. so needed!

I do tend of over worry and I have enough made to do the bazaar but like It's important to have a good variety and an overstock...

*inhale.

*exhale.

The next project for me is my photographs will be on display and for sale at The Healthy Rabbit December 15. The biggest creative venture, due to be paid for and in planning come January,  is still to be a surprise.

I CAN DO THIS. 

Perhaps the congestion of energy is just like a knot in a hose. Maybe I'm getting all twisted and worried about what should be coming out and creating a stress instead of a flow of creative juices. 

One of the best wisdoms a human ever verbally bestowed to me was;

"Don't forget to breath"

Until next time..

*inhale.

*exhale.

repeat.

Free Lunches

This past week I challenged myself to be my own ambassador. To advocate and act on any changes I needed to make and to start investing my energy into positive outlets. Literally and figuratively building a portfolio I could look at in a years time and say well heck look how far I've come. 

I also started reading about the stock market! Which I never expected to find so interesting and understandable. In fact I'm learning a very important lesson on the precious perception of time. Ultimately , being most fulfilled when practicing a lot of patience. 

"No such thing as a free lunch" is one common philosophy for someone with or trying to suit a 'vested interest' in what they doing with their money. Which is arguably man-kinds ultimate measurement of time..most of the time.

One of my favourite lines in the book I'm reading says  "The goal, it seems to me, is to have our financial resources accentuate , no detract from, our capacity to live a full life for the rest of our lives".

At least that's what we're sold. And it becomes the 5 W's we consume . Who, what, when , where , how... and the most the enigmatic 6th.. Wealth. Who are you in society. What job, car, clothes define you. When are you gonna get the next bigger ,better one. ..

But where are we trying to go in our pursuit of happiness. 
And how are we measuring "wealth"?

I had 2 free lunches Sunday. The first was with my Dad at our favourite restaurant. My Dad  and I haven't been on good terms since I came home. Sunday I helped him with his business like 'good ole times' ... I ate 3 plates at the buffet and actually didn't want to get up from the table.

Not only was my stomach so full that it seriously hurt to move... but this resolution of our relationship was finally being fulfilled over custard dumplings and sweet and sour soup. Sure I worked on my day off and wasn't paid. But I got the most valuable form of wealth available to us. 

We were going to go to Tim Hortons because I had a coupon for a free soup! Free lunch numero duo. The coupon expired the next day so I got my soup anyways and was planning to take it to work Monday for lunch.

The drive thru at Tim's was longer than expected, it was pouring rain and although I hadn't much reason to be complaining I just wanted to go home , rest and play with all my pretty commodities. 

On my way home I saw this man sleeping in a door way.
I made a u-turn rolled down my window and said 
"HAY DUDE" 
he jumped up and looked kind of scared
I asked  "Do you want some soup?"
he replied "Oh yeah , yeah, like um I was just trying to get some rest but now I'm woke!"
He looked less scared and I said "I had a coupon, it's good every weekend only so enjoy, anyways stay woke ,cheers!

smiles and cheers exchanged sincerely.

Time well spent. A rather trying statement. Because unlike money and it's various currents by which we are too often consumed in trading. Time is not reprintable or earned.

It is precious. And not to be wasted or taken for granted.  A lot of very clear lessons were put before me lately or perhaps had always been but I ignored them or was scared of facing some. Making even tiny hems in my vested interests is shaping up to be a beautiful fit , even in just a week. 

We can't become to self absorbed in our own turmoils, it only creates a black hole of insecurities. I experienced a very scary retrograde through out October . From what I've fathomed as my own interpretation of the month is October prepares us for new leaves, the seasons change right before our eyes then the ending is a time to remember death. The clocks literally go back. We are encouraged to rest as we feel the atmosphere become sharp, cold and un predictable.

I think these connection's to nature are miss understood and underestimated.

TAKE 10 SECONDS OF YOUR DAY TO SMILE AT A COWORKER. 
Call your grandma just to say HIYA, thanks for that time you decided to have kids cause they had me and living can be cool a lot of the time. 
Eat cake for breakfast.
Buy a coffee for a stranger. 

The best things in life are free.

Until next time try and stay humble, warm and positive!!! 

Friday November 10th.

Welcome to the future. I am writing you from the past, to bring forth the poetry, folketry , rock starlorship of one Misses. Saffron; who will be welcoming friends and family into my humble abode for a night of music , promoting  and releasing her single INTROSPECTION. 

*drum roll*

Who would have thought a fourth grade poetry unit would foster enough inspiration to keep one going as a solo female artist , self managed, law student by day, musician between suits? And she has recently been awarded the Full Scholarship to attend the Fall Songwriter's getaway with the Toronto Songwriting School run by Murray Foster.

You can't spell heart without art. And you can't fully understand the "dichotomy of vulnerability and power" that is felt on stage as a performer.

"When you want to do music, you just do it and stop making excuses. As a performer you're in another sphere and it's exhausting because it takes everything you've got. When I cry at a show, then I know I'm having a good show because I'm getting to that place of being the most real and emotionally vulnerable I can me. "

Saffron and I met about three years ago at a Woman In Politics conference hosted by our mutual friend. Only recently did our lives reconnected, along Queen Street West , in Toronto. I went to see her play for her second time at Horseshoe Tavern! 

She's come along way by the grace of God and network of strong musicians to guide her. Earlier this week talked about some of her struggles as a female artist, inspirations and being a law star versus a rock student..

"Some people ask me how I do it all... it's got to be God."

In the beginning , Saffron's musical career started among friends in various bands before putting all her faith in herself as a solo artist. Now some of her most admired musicians are her mentors and good friends. 

"Booking your friend on your bill is better than any sleepover. Going from admiring these artists to being on rosters with them is an honour."

The likes of Brantfordian legend Missy Bauman , Guelph's very own The Lifer's and Toronto's Rathburns... to name just a few. 

"I work with people who make me feel safe and comfortable." And it's important that the same connection is felt by her audience.

Saffron's music reflects her spirituality, passion for equality and vulnerability as an artist. Elements that took time of surrender, humility and grace too grow. 

Song's like Circadian Rhythm connect to a "more apparent element of spirituality. A disconnect between society, nature and meditation. We need to be more connected with the beautiful natural world created for us."

There are at least two pivotal moments when she thought about giving up on music:

1."When I first started learning to play mandolin.. I had a temper fit.. it shocked my Mom when I stuck with it."

2. "After my first band broke up. It's hard when you put so much time, energy and love into something, it really makes you look inward when things fall apart. What could I have done differently, is this the right path for me.?"

Not to mention nearly falling off stage at her first ever BCI Coffee House performance..

Just over a year as a solo artist, 20 shows under her belt and her venue list is quite impressive; The Hart House, Two Doors Down, Junction City Music Hall, Free Times Cafe, The Cavern, Smiling Buddha, The Cat's Eye, The Coach House, Horseshoe Tavern, TO Lounge, Humber Lakeshore Campus annnddd

MY HOME!!

*cough cough. gon' and brush my shoulders off..*

2-83 Superior Street Brantford , November 10. Be there. Come share an evening of communicating with music, love and my home blended chai tea.. Let's get introspective.

<3 <3


"For me the communication element of music is paramount. If I'm not communicating what am I doing? If art doesn't really communicate than is it art?  
- Saffron

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