Compliments to Strangers

It's great how once the weather starts warming up you can see a change in people, like we bud and bloom with the flowers and come out from hibernations like the squirrels. I've found myself enticed by particularities I notice in people I pass everyday. So much so I started a little list. Basically things I don't say because people would be like wtf. Also I want to post more regularly so I'm writing down more small things! 

Compliments to Strangers part 1.

To the man eating bread: I love you

I love how many shades of beige you're wearing

Lady on bike: I appreciate you for wearing a flouresent vest

You smell like the marshmellow scented marker from elementary school that everyone

wanted to eat

That mustache, YES!!

I love you

To the man running: YES YES YES YOU GO

You smell like fresh lotion, the green one, vaseline brand, aloe vera

I want to stick my pen in your pen holder

Jolly good cap chap

Nice shoes

I love your pants

I love you

I just love you

Man on bike vs me  x narrow un-evenfootpath - I shall giveneth way fort thou to pass my brethren

ps. I recently told a man he smelled soooo good .like amazing. he was flattered!

I Wasn't Expecting to Not Have Time

Synopsis of current events :

⦁ 3 weeks ago I bought a skateboard.
⦁ 5 days in hurt my ankle reeaallly bad
⦁ I prescribed myself rap music and ice to help me walk with a more natural looking limp and  ease the swelling.
⦁ WOE IS ME
⦁ watched some youtube videos on ankle injuries and massages
..woe was me. healed !
⦁ FINALLY registered to sell my jewelry at the Glebe markets!!
⦁ Bought tickets to see Allday at Enmore
⦁ Yay is me.
⦁ I worked 11 days straight 2 weeks in a row...tired is me.
⦁ looking for a farm job to qualify for my 2nds visa, before Novemebr 15th
..... and now.

It's just been one thing after another lately!! For 2 weeks my ankle was messed up and it messed me up inwardly. I felt like the world was weighing heavily on me. Literally because I couldn't put any pressure on it. But I was also feeling just miserable and like it would never get better. Twas frustrated with that, working to much, trying to prepare for the market, and look for a new job.

Alllllll these dramatic things happen at once sometimes and its very stressful and discombobulating. Since my ankle got better I feel better all around, like there's a new zest in my step! This ankle injury got me seriously thinking. A lot of things, now this will sound dramatic but I have a lot of my own philosophy's, I make them all the time and my most recent most relevant to my situations now is

"The Human Errors Conducive With an Expectation of Having More Time"

Book launch date to be announced. Patton pending.Now accepting submissions for cover art!

Yesterday I got a farm job to qualify me for my 2nd year visa. I leave in 1 month!!! This weekend I do the Glebe Market. Whilst in between working like crazy I'm trying to complete a list of things/places I want to see before I leave Sydney.

Every Every day I'm hustling.

Is it just me or is there this invisible feeling or mood of having time to do things later that we succumb to subconsciously. sleep, eat, work, sleep , errands, social time, sleep , work. repeat repeat repeat.

It's surprised me the number of times I heard someone say "we'll it'll always be there" usually when were talking about places to go close to home. And since Sydney has become my home, I definitely feel like I wasted some time. Once I moved into the flat I think I got too comfortable. Than I decided I want to apply for my second visa and it was like "suddenly" I have to tie up a bunch of strings I had let hang loose the last 2-3 months.

this is the start of something new, it feels so right to be here with you wooo ohhhh.

Discombobulating is the perfect word. My head is in like 23 different places at once. Which you can probably understand just from this post!

I'm ready for a change and welcoming this new adventure but I've also become connected with so many amazing people here that I'm very very sad to leave!

This next month is going to be crowded! Stay tuned .

as for the skateboarding... to be or not to be- that is the question..

Confessions of a Chocolaholic Pt. I

I feel like my head is going to explode. And my heart is beating in a rhythm that is trying to soothe my mind but inevitably the brain is the center of control. What is it about vanity. I like to say fuck the what! But seriously what the fuck.

My whole life I've been the runt of my family.

"have more you could use some extra weight"

"I don't think you'll ever gain weight"

"Your so tiny how much do you weigh now"

Weight .weight. weight..

Than the people I love came to the stages of weight gain in life, like a brick thrown at a glass friend who used a reflection to flatter you. Until what was reflected was a fatter you.

Failed diets. Lack of motivation. Chocolate. Cheat nights. Holidays. Gym memberships. Pay cheques down the drain. teas. fast fixes. Magazine covers of "skinny" girls "fit" girls "sexy" girls.  Weight loss goals. Weight gained. Weighing the consequences of each meal. Weighing the amount of carbs per meal. Weight. Weight. Weight

Id been an advocate to my friends and family. A jog buddy. A "swear to start my diet Monday" officiant.  Its hard to see beautiful people not feel beautiful. And because of the fucking what that makes anyone feel inadequate because of an exterior image built on fleshy ideals and size ratios.... "suitable weight for your height." ___lbs and I'll be happy. Just want to get back to a size ____. I'm just not happy with THIS weight, THE weight. MY weight.

WAIT!!!

Compared to the weight we see everywhere. The weight that separates the skinny from the fat. The sexy from the brave. The healthy from the careless. ?

Sexy, beautiful, healthy , fit words written on labels with an adhesive that has fastened our eyes on people of a favourable size.

Those words all of which are as much, if not more so, a state of mind!

Confessions of a Chocolaholic Pt II

I feel sexy when I listen to a soulful song and dance with a syncopated twerk. Beautiful when I swim or sing or feel wind or sunshine . Healthy when I walk to work or take deeeeep breathes out the window. Fit when I step in the help move something and surprise people when my strength!

None of those moments are conducive to a number on a scale or the back on a pair or pants.

Yet lately that is the place I'm looking for them all.

Sexy.. maybe with a little less there and more there.
Beautiful... god not with this belly fat
Healthy... the only thing I ingested today that wasn't carbs was water.. when I brushed my teeth.
Fit.. not fitting into any of my clothes anymore.

This is tough and this is what I told people they are more than . Here I am feeling crushed under the... weightt .. of myself.

Since I've been here. I gained 20lbs. which is like WOAH. because it's only been 3 months... and
I'm not used to myself with more of myself in certain places. But on the contrary 120lbs is completely fine!!

This is where I find myself caught between advocate and critic. It's a very messy place to be and I don't want/ feel I need to ramble on more about my thoughts. So I leave you with this...

Last week I sent my sister this email and a picture of me in my bathing suit at my apartments pool. I'm going to publish my email but not her reply due to the fact it's her personal response. But after I sent this to my sister I was feeling a mix of humility and failure with my image and the fact that I hadn't lived up to my own words to her especially about self love in the past. Anyways my sister's reply brought me to tears. I love her sooooooo much. I am taking it day by day to love myself inside and out. so no more holding my breath in front on the mirror and no more cake for breakfast...or at least smaller slices!

To: Threcia
Subject: Me Lol

Soooooo here's me weighing in at 120lbs lol I gained total 20lbs since I've been here.. its been hard for me to handle lately. Its funny I am used to being there for people when they are upset about there weight. Telling them to love themselves and not use the f word... fat.... but I use it like evert day. And you know what .. I shouldn't because 120lbs is just fine and hell yeah ill eat a burger and fries and still have room for dessert. "Sexy" is a dangerous and illusive word. Young girls should be reading Maya Angelou instead of cosmopolitan and seventeen. That being said I just started a 7 day diet . Like wtf is this . I'm not happy with my figure but I refuse to be sad. So I'm trying my best to balance and loose a bit of it because fuck 20 lbs in 3 months... ugh. There my venting <3

Ps. My hairs just braided back not cut off :p


From the wisdom of Justin Bieber. I will like the way I look so much, baby, I am gonna love myself!

Dear Sydney,

It's not you it's me. Well we can call this one even. These past 3 months have been great! Don't get me wrong I love the time we've spent together. Some of the best time of my life. But I'm ready for change now. In fact I'm eager. I would leave tomorrow but I have to wait at least another month. So we still have some time! One last "hurrah" as they say. What do you reckon?

I've made a list, a few things I want to do before I go. I should mention I don't even know where I'm going yet. I heard if I go to Darwin any job I get qualifies for the second visa! Oh yeahhhh I didn't mention that part yet.. well there it is! Yupp! One more year here in Australia, though not with you , you'll always be my first. My first city. Sydney can I say it. I promise I mean it. Don't let this confuse emotion on the notion of my departure..but... I love you. There is definitely  chemistry here. I just need to see more, do something different. Get out of the city for awhile. I reckon it'll be good for me. Actually great!

After my 88 or so days my plans so far include living in a van and collecting CD's. I thought you'd laugh at that one! Seriously though. I should have enough money saved to buy a van and get it on the road. Then from where ever I am I'll pimp my ride and plan a roadie! So you might see me again in the end. Than again a little piece of my heart will always be yours regardless. Pffftt stop you're making me blush. As for collecting CD's that's serious too.. not too many. But I like to listen to full albums lately and being on the road it'll be just perf. Last week I went to the vinnies in Campsie, when I bought my skateboard and bought 2 CD's. I'll call it a blind date because I just judge by the cover. No shame in this case. I read the song titles and pick! roulette! So both CD's ended up being  like heavy rock alternative. Not horrible , I like everything, but not at all what I expected. Which is half the fun!

Anyways let's make my last months here extra special! Hey Sydney, don't be sad!! It's just time! Eventually it gets us all.

Yours Truly,
Raisha

 xoxo

Sawadee ka! The Land of Thai

If I start this with a reference to Pokémon how many people will stop reading..? okay okay I’ll come back to it. But I promise it’s not what you think. Although I shouldn’t make such a presumptuous guarantee because I have no idea who’s reading this with or without Pokémon references and what y’all are thinking regardless. Maybe now you’re thinking TELL US ABOUT THAILAND! Hehe okay.

Day one.

The air was crisp as was I, sharp to leave my flat at the crack of 6:30 am.  10am the air craft of which I was scheduled to board would depart from the land I’ve called home, away from home ,for the past 3 months. I began to embark on a journey to discover a new soil.  A total change for mind, spirit and flesh.

Just kidding..

Yes I am over organized and did what I call a first tier packing about a week ahead. Make sure I had all the basics and a clear mind of what exactly I’d need. Than tier 2 a “re pack” a few days before. The final tier , tier 3 the night before triple check and re think on some things.

So from 6am the morning previous to my departure I’d woken up for work and decided I’m not going to sleep this night. I’ll stay up 24 hours. “NO. SLEEP. TILL. THAIIII LAND.”

5:00pm Home from work. Let the games begin.

Hour one.

I rushed like a mad woman to get my laundry done by 6:30 when the laundry matt closes. I got there at 6:24. (Oh I can hear you sighing with relief and see the corners of your mouth beginning to form a “grin” because yay Raisha you made it ??) They were closed. 6:24..

Hour two... Honestly if I do this is in segments of hours I’ll have to divide 192 hours into paragraphs.

I can’t conceive this baby adventure again. Atleast not in a frame of time that most people’s attention span will allow me too. Since being home, answering everyone’s questions (same same same ness) and going through pictures (rem rem reminisce) and finally uploading them to Facebook. A friend said to me “I like your style of pics and how it discloses your proper vision of the world” and that really means a lot to me. 

1. Because during my time in Thailand for the first time in a while, to this degree, I felt lonely. Ugh. I hate using the word because it’s like a label and it’s like a black bubble. It's such a thin layer around you but you can see out of it. So it was nice to have someone say something so particular to me.

2. Amidst and after my lonely moments I tried to be completely there. Relish  in the fact that I am in Thailand , trying to etch every detail into my brain was like using one of those fascinating yet frustrating  sketch toys. To verify the likeness of a brain to an Etch A Sketch here is a description from

Wikipedia “Twisting the knobs moves a stylus that displaces aluminum powder on the back of the screen, leaving a solid line. The knobs create lineographic images. The left control moves the stylus horizontally, and the right one moves it vertically.”

Now that’s a great metaphor if I do say so myself.

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL. There’s the Pokémon reference. I went with the band aid method for this one.

With 1. the loniless and 2. The relish. I found myself like a wiener in a hotdog with a one week expiry date. Not so great metaphor. I felt more than ever I wanted to capture every moment. Every shade of green , every street name, every statue, shrine and palace, every taxi and tuk tuk driver, every daring scooter maneuver, every smell...well not every. But especially every sonderous ocular exchange with every local and fellow tourist.

It’s this infatuation that led me to realize it’s not feasible. I can’t catch em all. No matter how good the wifi is, how many likes I get on social media, the amount of souvenirs or the level of enthusiasm in my voice when I share my stories upon my return. Most of what made my experience amazing were the things that seem to slip through my conscience. The little things. The memories that happen spontaneously. The moments I carry in my heart that aren’t tangible for my mind anymore.

I think it’s meant to be this way. The connectedness felt when becoming familiar with people and places that are worlds apart from home. Traces of ourselves left behind on the faces of every smiling stranger and an Etch in the Sketch of every acquaintance.

Untill next time Thailand. <3 If I may make such a presumptuous guarantee.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10154381186974933.1073741837.514274932&type=1&l=db9c6c60c2&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.10154381412154933%3Atl_objid.10154381412154933%3Athid.514274932%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1472713199%3A7237121867472751133

No Sleep Till Thailand

It is currently 2:11 am. I have impressed myself . When the idea to pull an all nighter came to fruition I was doubtful towards my abilities to crusade the strong temptations of ..
"the natural periodic loss of consciousness during which the body restores itself ". -Slumber , as defined by Marriam Webster.

Honestly I usually go to bed at 10.... and I prefer to wake up earlier than my alarm... what have I become, this..
"pleb who's circadiam rythym is intertwined with the morning." Morning Person, as defined by Raisha Chamberlain.

It's alright though. Ain't no shame bout it.

ANYWAYS IN LESS THAN 8 HOURS I'LL BE ON A PLANE TO THAILAND.

Due to my lack of sleep and 3rd glass of wine . I will  proceed to conclude this post.

Upon my return from the land of Thai on the 16th of August, a synopsis of my adventures will be written.

Peace and Love!