Endeavor Drive

Previously in Raisha's world. ..
Proceeding with a perplexing professional position...

13 days deep and 6 to go. My infamous Monday-Friday employment.  I've only cried once and that was just on the second day. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into.  To keep things professional and with respect to my employer, I'm going to use an alias and try to avoid pronouns.  I'll just say Pat. 

 Pat is almost totally impaired from the waist down and has minimal strength in the arms. My job is doing housework , a little shopping, cooking and basically whatever else I'm asked to do. Sounds sweet and simple right.

*Que dark clouds, thunder, lightning and maniacal laughter*

Pat is what I've decided to describe as "Spicy". From the first day I knew Pat would add some flavour to my life. The day we had our interview one of the first things Pat said to me was regarding my nose rings:

" I'm intrigued by those things in your nose, you obviously have more money than sense ."
The second day was a lot more intense. The spicy thing about Pat is the way Pat talks at me. Pat is extremely tidy (I would say obsessive compulsively) because Pat can't leave the bed I have to take pictures of everything I've done too show Pat.  And everything is to be done.. I quote.. "Methodically"

"Open the cupboard under the sink, take out the small dish put it on the table. Take out the container with powder put it on the table. Neatly. Beside the other one. Open the container. Put it down. Take out the soap. Put it on the table. Bring the container and the small dish so I can show you exactly how much you need to fill it."

This manner is the way I am instructed for everything. Absolutely every detail.

"Quick. quickly"
" BE CAREFULL"
"Like a lady come on"
"Use some f***g initiative"
"Do you understand stop? Is English your first language?"

By the end of the day we are both exhausted. In what I've come to know as the cool down period (the last 5-10 minutes before I leave for the day) Pat and I are talking about politics, my roommates, baking and dogs! After the first day Pat said

"I bet you're not going to come tomorrow are you? Just don't say yes than not show up"

I gestured a pinky promise and assured Pat that I will continue to come until my incompetence and lack of detail for everything falls even more unbearably below the standards that are so fiercely enforced.

By this time not only would I say we're used to each others ways. (Pat and the throat cutting spice and me... I can admit I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed..)  but I swear by the precisely stacked rolls of toilet paper. I heard Pat say... in between a story I was telling during the cool down.. Pat said.... I like you.

I try to keep up with Pat but it's almost impossible. Pat keeps telling me "use your initiative" "you have no initiative" "what would initiative say right now?" but whenever I try and think for myself or do something I do everyday anyways or just before she says it, it's wrong. There are a few things I've picked up on that do help me not look like such a nincompoop!

1. "Cupboard" (in the room) = dresser
                         ( in kitchen)= pantry
                        or lastly the hall closet
2. Blue container with blue inside= hand sanitiser with blue label
3. Bench= kitchen counter
4.  Put the blanket straight= slightly angled because Pat's eye view is different than where I stand.
5.  Washing machine door half open= quarter open

So I just keep my tail between my legs and  chase the instructions like a dog playing fetch. Actually this analogy has some weight to a real life. One occasion particularly wherein my tail was not so between my legs and I was barking back at Pat. In this event I was dusting the windows and moved the duster to far over from the part I had just done. Spurs of dust and words of fury filled the air. Pat was telling me to shut up..
"Don't tell me again to shut up like that"
"Just f***g listen. Don't talk."
"If you want to talk to me like a dog, tomorrow I'll wear a muzzle."

We are like cinnamon and brown sugar. Chilli sauce and fried chicken. Nutmeg and egg nog.
Spice and something that falls under it and is made a bit better.

Pat shares recipes with me, I gave Pat a painting of a dog for Christmas, Pat loved it. Pat gave me antiseptic and band aids after I fell off my skateboard. We've established that I'm the first call in an emergency. (last week something important fell and Pat was in distress so I had to come back after work). It's definitely been intense. Maybe I've been a bit untethered from life lately. This could be the universe saying I'm getting soft?!! Anyways I'm not sure yet how to describe the whole experience .

I knew this job was not going to be easy. Honestly after crying the second day I made an oath to myself to stick it out. Pat may be fierce but I'm not afraid or wounded by words that come from Pat  because I understand the situation Pat is in. I'm there to do a job and it is only for a short period of time. Although today I was almost ready to not come back ...than we had an ice cream together.. 6 DAYS LEFT of this paradoxical place.

Btw I hope every ones Christmas was peaceful and delicious. And HAPPY NEW YEARS.
love and life and liberation for you all!!!