Going

My mom called me at 3am Tuesday, I told her I’m leaving for Japan that day so to let me know when she’s home. I was up at around 4am although my flight wasn’t until 10:30am. When I saw her missed call it made me laugh because it’s been one year and she still doesn’t grasp the time difference. Like at all.  Since I was awake before the sun or humans -rise I walked down the street, sat with a blanket, a cup of tea and called my mom back. People always tell me I talk really loud on the phone..(I think I get it from my mom actually)

It turned out to be a really distressing conversation that I wasn’t expecting. Not that I ever know what to expect with my mother. We argued about me going to Japan, I know and respect that as a mother she has the right to be worried. She just blows it wwwaaaaayyyyyy out of proportion to the point where the amount of negativity is too much for me to listen to, I had to hang up and have a meme intermission.

I called her back and she said “we must have got disconnected”. Yeaaha haha you could say that. I said “you won’t hear my voice for a month so let me actually tell you about my plans and stop talking to me like I’m stupid, I’m competent. I love you. Tell Threcia I’ll email her.”  Phone conversations with my mom vary from “how are you..yeah good.” “yeah me too” to a 45minute story of her setting a wasps nest on fire.. Like I said I never know what to expect from her. (btw That’s legit. I’m going to upload it to youtube if the wifi here allows me)

Then I called my Dad and that was cool, it’s always cool. Last call was to Vodaphone to set my plan to prepaid so I won’t pay the full months bills while I’m away. All together saving me $40. Booya. I also filed my taxes in Canada and found out I got cash dolla dolla bills . cha ching. I don’t have to live off my stock pile of granola bars while I’m in Japan! ANNNDDD when I got to the airport my flight was delayed so I got a food voucher. All content, competent and complete before noon. I did a little jig and ate a blt.

When I first got my visa and people asked “why Australia” I used to say my soul is in Australia and now I am but a vessel waiting to catch it..Half joking. Half serious. Now that my visa is done and thinking back on the year it’s more like %87.9 true and %12.1 joke.. Leaving Australia..especially the loft aka rustic zoo I actually felt more distraught than when I left Canada. In the plane I felt anxious and ended up spending like an hour in the bathroom just weeping and wailing. I couldn’t even fathom exactly why I was crying. Like I thought I was over the whole wanderlust in Australia emotion and it’s not like I’m not coming back..

I got back to my seat a snotty, swollen eyed wreck and listened to my favourite song on repeat until I fell asleep. Which is bitter sweet because the lyrics make me more emotional. With a soothing wave of grass roots and blues it is just exactly what I can’t put into words myself. The song is The River Strumming; Cotton Jones Basket Ride. It’s like a 9minute :07 second journey every time. It’s kind of a compilation of 3 songs and the part that gets me starts at 5:45 . If you want to transcend from my mind and words to my ears soul for a moment.

By probably the 23.786th time I was listening to the song the plane was descending and for the first time I saw lightning while on a plane!! To the sight of the beautiful majestic masses of air or water or mystery.. I mean clouds... and the uneasy yet stunning burst of lightning, I finally calmed down. In this perplexing moment of solitude I put in order my emotions with my most bestest metaphor to date.

One year ago today I was but a sprout, being transplanted from soil that wasn’t fertilising growth for me. My new vessel would be a custom fitted pot, with the perfect amount of sun and water. Flowers grew and now out grew this place as well. But it’s not the soil that determines the growth of my plant anymore, I am strong and blossomed. I have to love my roots and my branches. 

Japan for me is very much an excuse to prolong going home. Literally the space between these two soils I guess. The perfect intermediate. Now that I am here I am so so excited, still full of air plane food and still listening to that song, which I’m not sure is healthy at this point.. My favourite verse is the last one and it says

“I heard some silver song

dripping down from the sun

for the first time in my mind

it all was real.

I saw sunbeams bend

in the mouth of some friend

all along he's been asleep on

the spinning wheel.

I put all things where they belong

indeed I was right, indeed I was wrong....”

ps. I've been in Japan for about 7 hours , another 3 to go before I meet up with my host for my accommodation. That's about 19 more repeats of the song... just kidding. Stay tuned for uberly touristic pictures <3 :)