Compliments to Strangers

It's great how once the weather starts warming up you can see a change in people, like we bud and bloom with the flowers and come out from hibernations like the squirrels. I've found myself enticed by particularities I notice in people I pass everyday. So much so I started a little list. Basically things I don't say because people would be like wtf. Also I want to post more regularly so I'm writing down more small things! 

Compliments to Strangers part 1.

To the man eating bread: I love you

I love how many shades of beige you're wearing

Lady on bike: I appreciate you for wearing a flouresent vest

You smell like the marshmellow scented marker from elementary school that everyone

wanted to eat

That mustache, YES!!

I love you

To the man running: YES YES YES YOU GO

You smell like fresh lotion, the green one, vaseline brand, aloe vera

I want to stick my pen in your pen holder

Jolly good cap chap

Nice shoes

I love your pants

I love you

I just love you

Man on bike vs me  x narrow un-evenfootpath - I shall giveneth way fort thou to pass my brethren

ps. I recently told a man he smelled soooo good .like amazing. he was flattered!

I Wasn't Expecting to Not Have Time

Synopsis of current events :

⦁ 3 weeks ago I bought a skateboard.
⦁ 5 days in hurt my ankle reeaallly bad
⦁ I prescribed myself rap music and ice to help me walk with a more natural looking limp and  ease the swelling.
⦁ WOE IS ME
⦁ watched some youtube videos on ankle injuries and massages
..woe was me. healed !
⦁ FINALLY registered to sell my jewelry at the Glebe markets!!
⦁ Bought tickets to see Allday at Enmore
⦁ Yay is me.
⦁ I worked 11 days straight 2 weeks in a row...tired is me.
⦁ looking for a farm job to qualify for my 2nds visa, before Novemebr 15th
..... and now.

It's just been one thing after another lately!! For 2 weeks my ankle was messed up and it messed me up inwardly. I felt like the world was weighing heavily on me. Literally because I couldn't put any pressure on it. But I was also feeling just miserable and like it would never get better. Twas frustrated with that, working to much, trying to prepare for the market, and look for a new job.

Alllllll these dramatic things happen at once sometimes and its very stressful and discombobulating. Since my ankle got better I feel better all around, like there's a new zest in my step! This ankle injury got me seriously thinking. A lot of things, now this will sound dramatic but I have a lot of my own philosophy's, I make them all the time and my most recent most relevant to my situations now is

"The Human Errors Conducive With an Expectation of Having More Time"

Book launch date to be announced. Patton pending.Now accepting submissions for cover art!

Yesterday I got a farm job to qualify me for my 2nd year visa. I leave in 1 month!!! This weekend I do the Glebe Market. Whilst in between working like crazy I'm trying to complete a list of things/places I want to see before I leave Sydney.

Every Every day I'm hustling.

Is it just me or is there this invisible feeling or mood of having time to do things later that we succumb to subconsciously. sleep, eat, work, sleep , errands, social time, sleep , work. repeat repeat repeat.

It's surprised me the number of times I heard someone say "we'll it'll always be there" usually when were talking about places to go close to home. And since Sydney has become my home, I definitely feel like I wasted some time. Once I moved into the flat I think I got too comfortable. Than I decided I want to apply for my second visa and it was like "suddenly" I have to tie up a bunch of strings I had let hang loose the last 2-3 months.

this is the start of something new, it feels so right to be here with you wooo ohhhh.

Discombobulating is the perfect word. My head is in like 23 different places at once. Which you can probably understand just from this post!

I'm ready for a change and welcoming this new adventure but I've also become connected with so many amazing people here that I'm very very sad to leave!

This next month is going to be crowded! Stay tuned .

as for the skateboarding... to be or not to be- that is the question..

Confessions of a Chocolaholic Pt. I

I feel like my head is going to explode. And my heart is beating in a rhythm that is trying to soothe my mind but inevitably the brain is the center of control. What is it about vanity. I like to say fuck the what! But seriously what the fuck.

My whole life I've been the runt of my family.

"have more you could use some extra weight"

"I don't think you'll ever gain weight"

"Your so tiny how much do you weigh now"

Weight .weight. weight..

Than the people I love came to the stages of weight gain in life, like a brick thrown at a glass friend who used a reflection to flatter you. Until what was reflected was a fatter you.

Failed diets. Lack of motivation. Chocolate. Cheat nights. Holidays. Gym memberships. Pay cheques down the drain. teas. fast fixes. Magazine covers of "skinny" girls "fit" girls "sexy" girls.  Weight loss goals. Weight gained. Weighing the consequences of each meal. Weighing the amount of carbs per meal. Weight. Weight. Weight

Id been an advocate to my friends and family. A jog buddy. A "swear to start my diet Monday" officiant.  Its hard to see beautiful people not feel beautiful. And because of the fucking what that makes anyone feel inadequate because of an exterior image built on fleshy ideals and size ratios.... "suitable weight for your height." ___lbs and I'll be happy. Just want to get back to a size ____. I'm just not happy with THIS weight, THE weight. MY weight.

WAIT!!!

Compared to the weight we see everywhere. The weight that separates the skinny from the fat. The sexy from the brave. The healthy from the careless. ?

Sexy, beautiful, healthy , fit words written on labels with an adhesive that has fastened our eyes on people of a favourable size.

Those words all of which are as much, if not more so, a state of mind!