January 31st 2019

Hi

Since I last wrote , my world has changed. Wow. By changed I guess I really mean grown. Right into a beautiful little home and family of my own. I also painted my nails for the first time in what the perfect shade of "Lava" makes feel like forever.

I decided to break up with social media in pursuit of a real tangible community wherein I could learn, love and express myself. I was working at a chocolate factory amongst many coworkers who spoke Spanish as their first language. It was a fantastic opportunity to learn and be engaged in my work day.

My love and I  met and started dating and the first word that comes to mind as I recollect those times is FIERCE.

Family is always all that and a bowl of pickles. (What does that even mean?) Relationships grew stronger in-between fights. Memories were cooked up with holiday dinners, the universe served us some side dishes we could have done without. Thankfully there's always dessert.

Being back in my birth city after a year abroad that I thought I'd never return from was an ache. I still can't stop my mind from wondering "what if?".

Amidst the friends and family asking "what's next" I danced between the joy of home making my first little apartment and the number of stat holidays I'd get from work that could be opportune as weekend trips. Last years one year plan was to save and live in my one bedroom queendom , buy a van and travel the USA. Or start a travel and tourism college course. Or teach English in Japan or Thailand. Or get my British passport and connect with my Royal family...

I spent a lot of the last year being and/or feeling unorganized and unprepared.

*que confetti , flashing lights , marching band lead by captain obvious*

Yes I'm sure 89% of people feel the same way and the other 11% are the 5% who are actually organized and prepared and 6% who are oblivious . Don't quote my figures, this is strictly between us! I mean it, I had ideas and energy and no way to properly put them in place. I blame winter. and falling in love. and marijuana. and being a janitor (again).

Then I was pregnant, which brought on EVERY. SINGLE. EMOTION. KNOWN. ON. PLANET. EARTH.
And I was a waitress , which actually made me feel strong and in charge.

Here I am as a stay at home Mom; with three step kids , an Ikea chair yet to be assembled, a tea I made at 6am and my sweet prince finally sleeping in his crib ...hopefully long enough for me to finish and edit this! (also doing some grade 11 classes that could/should have been done 6 years ago..but hey.)

My baby boy Julius was born December 8th and it was incredible. My love and I experienced the labour and the birth together at home with my two midwives who came for the finishing touches.

It's a wonder how much energy we house within every inch of our being. Enough to create a sweet little human being who knows nothing but everything of me. My step son tells me "Raisha, you know babies are the smartest people earth, they just can't talk" . When I look at our little prince cry and smile and suckle I really believe him.

I wouldn't be able to recognize and recover as well if I hadn't felt so deeply in my being some of the "un's" I did last year.  My 2019 I'm focusing on whatever the opposite of "un" is at the beginning of the adjectives I will use to describe my life.

This New Year is settling in to be a very blog worthy one so don't let me skip out on this again!

Until next week. Stay warm my North American folk.  Anyone reading from an atmosphere that's above 0 send help.