HELLO! Earth to blog readers I am alive! It’s been 2 or 3
weeks since my last post and man oh man do I have a lot to unload. I do wish I
had fantastic stories of travelling with circus performers , hunting Shia Labeouf
art displays and falling in love. But in
the break down unload is more like a compound metaphor.
Un... employed, inspired, healthy, done
Load...in the context of shit.
Yesterday marked my one month in Melbourne and I will be
here for about one month more before I start travelling again, hence the title “Illusive
Middle”. By April 20th ish I want to go back to Sydney, Tasmania and
Brisbane to say farewell to the peoples I’ve met in Australia than my visa expires in
May!
The first 2 weeks I was still backpacking until I found
refuge in the loft. I settled in, looked for work, made some money doing one
time jobs, biked around the city, partied and have been connecting with all the
lovely humans I’ve met. Which has been a very groovy train to ride, until it
starts doing loops. My fare is $6 wine, free loaded cigarettes, brunches I can’t
really afford and whatever else just to fill the time.
Monotonous, is the word of the month. Answering the same
questions about Canada or my future plans. Employers saying “we’re looking for
someone long term, sorry” or “there’s nothing now but we’ll keep your resume ...” (I must have spent 50% of have my
savings on 20cent prints.) The cherry on top is mom saying “well isn’t it time
you just came home “and my bank account would agree. I could leave earlier than
my visa and get back to the excitement of being a nomad. Take my saving for one
last hooray!
Buuuttt even though I’m scrubbing my way through Melbourne. Figuratively
and literally. I still don’t want to go home yet. I thought about doing a student
visa, or a tourist visa to extend for 3 more months. It all comes back to
money... which all goes back to disappointment.
So I’d rather spend my time with people, my house mates are
amazing, we dance, we laugh, their fashion choices are exciting and fabulous. My
friend Josh is great company, we do crosswords, drink too much coffee, and
listen to his music. I talk to strangers in between...
Recently I realised I have been filling myself with other
peoples energy. Avoiding making decisions.
Procrastinating writing my blog. Giving up on job searching. Smiling and
laughing and connecting. Burning holes in my savings and my lungs. Eating food
in the grocery stores. Singing the same 6 songs on my ukulele for an hour.
Making $30 and spending it to keep myself in the loop.
The other day I did my usual wake up 1pm go somewhere, eat
lunch in Coles, sit in the park looking busy or talking to strangers. I had a
nap. Than woke up and it was 6:30...pm.. I know what you’re thinking woah
Raisha you rebel tell us more about your revolutionary time of siest. But I
woke up and just thought what the fuck am I even doing. I went on Instagram and
updated my story to some pictures of me looking all relaxed and enjoying the
nature of things. I had a notification from a previous post. Someone commented something
like “awe your travels are so inspirational”.I just felt like an un-load* (*refer to opening sentences)
I sat there until almost dark and just flushed out a bunch
of emotion in a note book I bought. When boom. I had a revelation. An organic
burst of life just hit me right in the noggin! What they call a ‘Eureka’ moment
...I got shit on by a bird... for the first time so I assume that comes with
some extra luck. I can’t remember if I started to laugh or cry.. probably both
and then I heard a lady flicking her lighter unsuccessfully and I asked her for
a cigarette and offered to light hers.
In my book I started with this title/ news headline for my
celebrity down spiral magazine front cover article.
Coming down from a travel high; The Un-Instagramable Truths.
“Raisha Chamberlain spotted in yet another local park. The
residue of slumber and stolen granola bars on her face. Her friends and family
don’t know this dark depths , black as the tar accumulating on her lungs. When
offered financial aid she rejects it, knowing Dad can’t afford it nor does she
deserve it. Self proclaimed, self destructive and selfless. Will she rise from
this murky burn out. Will she make it too Japan. Can she survive on the love of
good company and cashews? Stay tuned.”
THE ANSWER IS YES. I don’t regret a single second of the
last month. I went on my first Tinder date. I sold my bike to a lady in her 50’s
who has never rode before and wants to learn.
It just all struck me
when looked at the calendar and thought WOE IS ME. One month has felt like a really long weekend. I’ve been keeping
up my spirits and my social media with one interesting thing I do
a day. Today my Mother got all pert when she saw my tattoo during video chat, I
told her it was a shadow and moved into better lighting..
A wise man once said “wow
Raisha I’m so proud of you, I love the things you wrote about me in your blog”
That wise man is my Dad regarding my last post.. Miley Cyrus once said “keep the
faith!”
I want to go to Japan when I leave here , before going home,
right now I have JUST enough in my account to cover my travel plans from next
month until then. There is still hope. But there is definitely no more time and
money to waste. It’s all about the climb!
Ps. In an attempt to redeem my blog I will be posting every
other day this week , my tinder date obviously and the lady with the bike,
possibly some more bird shit stories too! <3 J
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