Since man and woman first trekked on this earth, there has been a desire to
copulate. The intimate attraction between two beings weaned through a process
of small talk, boastfulness and flirtation. Here we are in 2017, the years of
awkward first dates and over priced coffees, the fundamental steps on the path
to finding the mate to ones soul. This quest has been reduced to merely a swipe
of the finger.
I made Tinder 2 weeks ago in a sheer moment of curious boredom... I shouldn’t
pretend to sound that skeptical. When I first heard of tinder I was hearing
stories about easy hook ups and cat fishes. There was some great first date
romances too, actually one of my best friends has been in a successful
relationship for like 2 years with a guy she met on tinder. But overall I was
just not interested maybe even a bit daunted by the thought of it all.
What photos too use? What to write in my bio? Do you kiss on the first date
because I don’t even know how to flirt... the first words to come out of my
mouth when I met my first tinder dude were “isn’t this weird , meeting someone
you don’t know through the internet.” So that should give you a pretty clear
picture as to me vs. Dating.
It is sooo much easier than I expected. Tinder syncs with Facebook and
chooses your last 4 profile pictures and then you can upload 2 more or self choose
all 6. Boom first tier complete. Than my bio.. I spent a few minutes reading
other peoples. It really ranges from “ I love puppies and treating women right”
to “I’m full throttle fun adventure man *wink face. wink face* swipe right if
you think you can keep up”
For the record those aren’t actual examples but they make an accurate
comparison.
None of them were really helping me so I started with the basic’s
Hi there... nope
I’m a human...nope
I’m from Canada.. okay... In Melbourne for another month. . .uh I like tea
and mmhmmm ..
I thought.. do I want to use this for serious or just to meet up with
people and have some epic stories to tell. I ended up spending too much time writing
some funny bio’s
Option one- What's I’m about
I’m a lover of food, art, music and people who are passionate about their
hobbies. I like to invent breakfast dishes but recently professed my love for
cornflakes. I love tea and chocolates and cakes and live music. I can dance. A Columbian
woman told me so!
Option two- Serious face
Looking for forever. Someone who wants to find a soul mate. Long walks on
the beach, eating ice cream and watching the sunset. Ideal candidate must have
3-5 years prior experience and available evening and weekends. A college or
higher education is preferred but not compulsory . Inquire within.
Option three- One of my famous, weird , yet accurate,
metaphors
I’m looking for someone to be my potato. I’m the mayonnaise dip looking to be
paired with some fresh salty sweet potato fries. okay? or I’m gravy, ketchup,
butter and salt. I’m saucy , messy , tastey, zesty, and not always solid. A
potato is solid, versatile, comfort food. You are good. and I’m am good but
together we are great. I’m flavour. You’re full. Together we would be "flavourful"
. Able to dress it up or down but always hold it down. Appetizer or main
course. yukon yellow, sweet orange or white. Turnips, yams , beets is family too.
one love.
.. I should have uninstalled the app and quit.. and can you tell I was
bored and hungry at this time... Anyways it took me longer to figure out what to
write than it did to get my first matches but finally I went with:
“I just moved to Melbourne to live out the last 2 month of my visa, hoping
to see some cool live music and enjoy my time here with good peoples! Self
proclaimed interpretive dancer, planning to invent a sauce that will change the
world and dedicated to informing people of Canadian celebrities other than
Justin Bieber”
My house mates supported my choice of words and said it is honest and cute.
Then I got my first few messages which was just more not knowing what to say,
so I left Tinder alone for the rest of the day whilst I contemplated the fate
of my right or left swipes.
Then along came Eugene. We talked for a few days than set a date to meet up in
the city and check out some buskers. It was a chill night, there are so many
buskers with a lot a different styles and Eugene is studying music so he had a
really great appreciation. I just love music so we had a lot to talk about! Not
a notebook-esque spark or a 50 shades of Tinder type of night, just good for my
first Tinder experience.
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