Endeavor Drive

Previously in Raisha's world. ..
Proceeding with a perplexing professional position...

13 days deep and 6 to go. My infamous Monday-Friday employment.  I've only cried once and that was just on the second day. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into.  To keep things professional and with respect to my employer, I'm going to use an alias and try to avoid pronouns.  I'll just say Pat. 

 Pat is almost totally impaired from the waist down and has minimal strength in the arms. My job is doing housework , a little shopping, cooking and basically whatever else I'm asked to do. Sounds sweet and simple right.

*Que dark clouds, thunder, lightning and maniacal laughter*

Pat is what I've decided to describe as "Spicy". From the first day I knew Pat would add some flavour to my life. The day we had our interview one of the first things Pat said to me was regarding my nose rings:

" I'm intrigued by those things in your nose, you obviously have more money than sense ."
The second day was a lot more intense. The spicy thing about Pat is the way Pat talks at me. Pat is extremely tidy (I would say obsessive compulsively) because Pat can't leave the bed I have to take pictures of everything I've done too show Pat.  And everything is to be done.. I quote.. "Methodically"

"Open the cupboard under the sink, take out the small dish put it on the table. Take out the container with powder put it on the table. Neatly. Beside the other one. Open the container. Put it down. Take out the soap. Put it on the table. Bring the container and the small dish so I can show you exactly how much you need to fill it."

This manner is the way I am instructed for everything. Absolutely every detail.

"Quick. quickly"
" BE CAREFULL"
"Like a lady come on"
"Use some f***g initiative"
"Do you understand stop? Is English your first language?"

By the end of the day we are both exhausted. In what I've come to know as the cool down period (the last 5-10 minutes before I leave for the day) Pat and I are talking about politics, my roommates, baking and dogs! After the first day Pat said

"I bet you're not going to come tomorrow are you? Just don't say yes than not show up"

I gestured a pinky promise and assured Pat that I will continue to come until my incompetence and lack of detail for everything falls even more unbearably below the standards that are so fiercely enforced.

By this time not only would I say we're used to each others ways. (Pat and the throat cutting spice and me... I can admit I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed..)  but I swear by the precisely stacked rolls of toilet paper. I heard Pat say... in between a story I was telling during the cool down.. Pat said.... I like you.

I try to keep up with Pat but it's almost impossible. Pat keeps telling me "use your initiative" "you have no initiative" "what would initiative say right now?" but whenever I try and think for myself or do something I do everyday anyways or just before she says it, it's wrong. There are a few things I've picked up on that do help me not look like such a nincompoop!

1. "Cupboard" (in the room) = dresser
                         ( in kitchen)= pantry
                        or lastly the hall closet
2. Blue container with blue inside= hand sanitiser with blue label
3. Bench= kitchen counter
4.  Put the blanket straight= slightly angled because Pat's eye view is different than where I stand.
5.  Washing machine door half open= quarter open

So I just keep my tail between my legs and  chase the instructions like a dog playing fetch. Actually this analogy has some weight to a real life. One occasion particularly wherein my tail was not so between my legs and I was barking back at Pat. In this event I was dusting the windows and moved the duster to far over from the part I had just done. Spurs of dust and words of fury filled the air. Pat was telling me to shut up..
"Don't tell me again to shut up like that"
"Just f***g listen. Don't talk."
"If you want to talk to me like a dog, tomorrow I'll wear a muzzle."

We are like cinnamon and brown sugar. Chilli sauce and fried chicken. Nutmeg and egg nog.
Spice and something that falls under it and is made a bit better.

Pat shares recipes with me, I gave Pat a painting of a dog for Christmas, Pat loved it. Pat gave me antiseptic and band aids after I fell off my skateboard. We've established that I'm the first call in an emergency. (last week something important fell and Pat was in distress so I had to come back after work). It's definitely been intense. Maybe I've been a bit untethered from life lately. This could be the universe saying I'm getting soft?!! Anyways I'm not sure yet how to describe the whole experience .

I knew this job was not going to be easy. Honestly after crying the second day I made an oath to myself to stick it out. Pat may be fierce but I'm not afraid or wounded by words that come from Pat  because I understand the situation Pat is in. I'm there to do a job and it is only for a short period of time. Although today I was almost ready to not come back ...than we had an ice cream together.. 6 DAYS LEFT of this paradoxical place.

Btw I hope every ones Christmas was peaceful and delicious. And HAPPY NEW YEARS.
love and life and liberation for you all!!!

Poetic Interlude

In the last month or so that I had spent in Sydney, I found myself caught in this poetic, comedic milky way made up of short complimentary narratives that passed through my mind with every stranger. I kept them in notes in my phone and would just scribble the thoughts down during the day, than read them at the end if the day. There all really weird and random but recently I read them again thinking daaannnng these are clever! I should share these words with my world! Also I feel I want to be more consistant with my blog! Alas I give to you one of the first from this "series"  called ......

Me:

No furniture just art on the walls

I can tell I've been in the city too long because i walk fast even when i have nowhere to go and j cross at the most inappropriate times

Its like you look up and you see forever

Idiosyncratic 

Id rather be dancing

If it is than it is

I have my charger, wallet and underwear. thats important. Ok

Its funny how shes still beautifull

New Faces and New Places

Hello, It’s me..

I’m just updating you on this past week.

I hope, that you’re well

and preferably in a sitting position

 I do have so much to tell...

So it’s been one week (you can stop reading with the Hello melody btw) in my new place, new flatmates, new job... and things are good! Work is another story actually but all in all the fact I have a job is the good part.

I’m living in Mona Vale, which is a little beach community one hour via bus from the Sydney CBD.  My flat is a five minute walk from a beautiful beach!! Initially I had wanted to stay in the city but the price was right and I think after the road trip my mind was still loose so getting back to the real world in a more tranquil environment was the best move!

My flatmates are six boys. Four from Germany, one from France and one from Malaysia! Don’t tell my Mother. Just kidding she’s probably reading this anyways. If that is the case MOM IT’S FINE. We all get along indubitably! Everything is just peachy keen. In fact we’re planning our Christmas together. We’re making a tree from their empty beer cans and Germans celebrate on the 24^th, me on the 25^th thusly we shall make feast and festivities for two days! Huzzah!  (ever since Bundaberg I love saying Huzzah!)

I should briefly introduce you to my brethren:

Alex- Germany, very much loves Australia and photography.

Nicholas- France, Artist, Video Game addict and innuendos I never catch onto.

Matt- Malaysia, I’ve maybe talked to him three times (he works nights) , but he seems nice!

Fynn-Germany, Artist, Energetic and improving his English.

Henrik-  Germany, stylish, doesn’t need music to dance!

Tim- Germany, eldest of the three amigos, not sure what else to say actually ...hmm..

We’ve got this quirky family dynamic going. Last night we made pizza’s and a toast to our one week of coexistence! The beginning of the week the boys went swimming at night, I thought they were totally mad because it was cold. But Mother Nature being the beautiful mother figure she is, the water is slightly warmer than the air and it’s the most refreshing thing to do at the end of your day! We watch movies,  play ball, well they actually play and I just get a pass so I don’t feel left out. They even ate and enjoyed my oatmeal cookies despite the burnt tops.  Oh and I was making jewelry and they all wanted a bracelet so I made some!

MAN IF THIS ISN'T FAMILY I DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT IS.

Also the remaining Salty Skinned Honey, Tadhg, left Australia, back home to England on Thursday Morning.  *Fist to chest pump and deuces* So much love to you brother.  See you in Canada!!

Now my job situation as I mentioned is a story in itself. To establish for you a bit of a plot-

Scene one : Raisha searches Gumtree for job. Next day gets a call for an interview whilst shopping, catches next bus to the place.

Scene two:  The place is sort of gated community for elderly people; Raisha follows the directions of her director and arrives to the destination.  The two meet. An interview is executed and a job is accepted .

Scene three: Upon leaving the neighbourhood and returning home Raisha ponders the business matter, the character of her new employer, from phone call to first contact. She has an inclination that this new position will be as, if not more so, particular and peculiar as this first encounter.

To be continued...

It's Not Over Till It's Over

So it's been almost a week since the end of our road trip. The salty Skinned Honey's are but a memory. Gloria is probably testing the patience of yet another set of travelers.

It's as if the road trip were a round-a-bout , bringing our paths into harmonious junction until we reach our exits than go individually down the road to the next destination. I actually started writing this 3 days before the end of the roadie. Time and electric outlets were sort of out of hand during those days from Airlie to Sydney. Friday getting back to Sydney till now (Wednesday) I'll say was a combination of being too emotional, hung-over, homeless and really enjoying the last bit of salty skinned company.

Anyways to pick up and finished from where I had started....

Tuesday morning we went for our last snorkel aboard the mandrake, the beautiful aquatic vessel which had kindly took us in as guests the past 3 days.  Airlie beach has been our last stop on the road trip and conducive with any great story, the best was saved for last.

So I've introduced the O.G 4: Sam, Kate ,Tadhg and I. Now for our way back to Sydney we have knighted two more salty skinned honeys into the tribe.

Anton- beautiful blonde boy

Lars cool, calm ,collected.

Both from Germany ! huzzah!

We met Lars on Fraser Island his travel plans were similar to ours and we met up again in Airlie beach. From Airlie we had our Whitsundays 3 day 2 night sailing trip. That's when we met Anton!

One of the most beautiful things about being a nomad is the people you meet! Being acquainted with people from across the world who feel like neighbors you've know your whole life.

Comparable to "the immaculate conception" if I do say so myself. Travelers free from permanent residences and 9-5 jobs , weary and full of goon. Some follow stars, search for wise man, speak in tongues, barter for food and carrying baskets with offerings and tools. They come together often in a place to rest, with standards as low as their budgets. It is in these most humbling circumstances the birth is witnessed and the stories are shared for generations.

I'm looking back at all the photo's and I'm not sure If it's just me but I swear we look different. It's weird to see changes from just one month. It could be the decrease in showers per week. Heat stroke or the bad nights sleep. Possibly even the stress of being a passenger while Tadhgs driving. IM KIDDING. I WAS JUST AS BAD.

Now I'm sitting here in the library trying to manifest the moments into words. Trying to remember the sounds and the feeling of being in Gloria for like 10 hours a day. All the little moments that at the time I didn't even perceive as something I'd think of as leaving impressions at all. It was just life, what we were doing, where we were, how we smelt. It just became such a norm. Singing and dancing at any given space or moment. Not wearing shoes. Checking for cockroaches on the toilet paper rolls. Sam's snoring, Tadhg's farting, Kate driving Gloria to the limits. Anton’s charming magic tricks and Lars as our DJ.

I'm even at a loss of words for a good metaphor for this. Now that's a big deal. Basically the road trip brought 6 beautiful people together in time and space. Through love and loathe. Till death of our contract with the rental van did us part.

It's a month I will never never forget with people I will love forever.

Check out some of the pictures taken, may they rekindle the authenticity of the moments we shared together. Amen.

https://www.facebook.com/raishac/media_set?set=a.10154725833519933.1073741843.514274932&type=3&pnref=story

Gloria

You haven't met Gloria yet, allow me to introduce our automotive companion. Gloria. A Toyota 19'something . Apollo owned and operated, license plated Queensland the Sunshine State!

Twas about a month ago, Tadhg , Sam and I sat infront of our laptop screens browsing and scrolling through possible campervans . Seems so long ago really. We found the Apollo company webpage, filled in the infomation feilds , watched the loading circles twirl, decided they had what we needed and made the reservation. The first day of the trip I remember we were nervous. 1. to drive for the first time in awhile and 2. for the size and condition of the van. But there she was like double cherry pie, like disco superfly . wow.

Now here we are smelling not of sex but alot like candy, inside  of our loving maternal vehicle Gloria. She really is a beauty. Apart from the broken, drawer, leaky fridge, loose screw, one week with a broken table, uphill difficulties and mysterious disappearences of anything smaller than a shoe. Let's just say she keeps us together whilst she crumbles apart. As any loving mother does. We've got 12 days left. TWELVE DAYS. For us that's basically 12 loafs of bread and 36 more times to curse at the broken drawer. Or 11 cramped, sweaty nights. 2 headphones , 4 phone chargers, 1 cup, 1 bowl , 2 jars of peanut butter , 4 of nutella and who knows how many pairs of Tadhg's socks..

She even has a theme song. Gloria by Abba. We've even chosen her over a/c, wifi, attractive people and comfy couches. This is true love in its most pure form. The way the sun shines through the sandy coloured curtains that make her interior feel like dune walls. Or a coffin when you lay with your head to the back. Oh and the endless possibilities for finding a place to hang towels or undies to dry. It's really uncany.


We will miss you Gloria. Perhaps most of all ... directly quoting from the mouths of her other off spring.

"Air conditioning."

Ps. Tadgh said he'd miss nothing but I think that's just denial.

Currently she is carrying us to Whitsundays for a few nights and than Cairns than back to Whitsundays for a boat tour and than dare I say it  we hfjk make our hdaj way back to jshSydney. Sorry my tears were hitting my keypad there. *sniff sniff sigh.*


Kids hugs your parents and tell them you love them. When they ask why just tell them Salty Skinned Honeys x Gloria only 12 days left.

Salty Skinned Honeys x Gloria x Day 10

Without further adieu Salty Skinned Honeys x Gloria x day 10.

One thing I want to shout out quickly, I wrote a little memior of my favourite moments at work that I forgot to publish before leaving. Would you please join me in a moment of silence for the titled "Can You Dust The Sofa"

*uno momento silencio*

Lest we forget. which is a perfect segue to the first 2 days of the roadie...

Lest we forgot: 

1. How to drive manual. Practice makes perfect

2. To take corners slowly

3. To turn the gass off so it doesnt leak out everywhere!

4. How simply beautiful a stary sky is at night after living in the city for the past 6 months.

Oh yes I should introduce by name each Salty Skinned Honey. In no particular order: 

Sam- french lady

Tadhg- only boy in the world

Me- entertainment 

Kate- driver extraordinaire !

First nights dinner by Chef Tadhg. Fish curry served with rice. Bon appetite! Cutesie beach community, amazing sunset, our second camp site was pimping. The community kitchen/louge was fully equipt. Surround sound plasma tv, a magic bullet for a morning smoothie and a cockroach the size of small rat. 

Made Bolognese. Roach free.
Day 4 we made it to.. Bryon Bay!

Very peacefull, swavy, beachy melodic rhythm in the air. (Im trying not to use the word hippie) This is where perhaps by the powers of devine intervention; four weary eyed , sweaty, campsite-less honeys stumbled towards the greyhound kiosk, in seek of knowledge about where to park for sleeping that night. We ended up melting in the palms of a travel guru. He pulled out the big map, the photo albums , the charming smile.. we ended up replanning our whole trip.

For better and for worse. I'll save the details for my next post because our first excursion is but 3 days away now!! 
We spent two nights in Byron than chugged on to the Gold Coast. By this time the sun burns are out and the bras are off. It's a hot mess and our first inside joke is born. Six socks, one shoe , a pair of womens panties. An ode to Miami Beach, Surfers Paradise. 
From there we did Brisbane, Elimbah, Sunshine Coast and now Noosa! Birth rate of induendoes is on the rise and we've got nicknames: Double T and Double F and of course Salty Skinned Honeys. The van has carried us in her womb so naturaly we've come to know this mama as... Gloria. 
10 days in and we are loved. We are well fed and showered. Someone tell our Mothers. Xx Pray that during the next 20 we can still confidently call our mothers saying the same thing.
Halleluja.

She's claimed territory ("Gloria's Nest" Elimbah QLS. 27.0150°S, 152.9470° E) Scalled mountains whilst we aided heartbreak to the man of the tribe and manage to stay sain cleaning up after him. 

No Time to Get Down Cause I’m Moving Up

Yesterday my manager introduced us all to the new guy coming to replace me at my job!! First thing. HE’S SO CUTE. He’s tall and wears fashionable glasses. Second. I’M SO SAD TO LEAVE  I LOVE EVERYONE.

This week I’ve felt myself slip from a physically and emotional “wowie” week to a “wow” week. Translated from Latin Raisian dialect to English that means thing have been just soaring, flying, it felt like there wasn’t a star in heaven that I couldn’t reach . To oh wait there it is the star damn. AM I MAKING SENSE.. NO.. OK. So my last day at my job is Sunday then I leave for the road trip Thursday. It’s like YAY but it’s also like haaaayyyy . I’m going to really really miss these people! All sad and said it won’t be the last time I see them ever. I’ll be back in Sydney for a little while  after the road trip.

I just get all emotional when it comes to changes. Not like “ I wanna watch sad movies and eat 14 litres of ice cream” emotional but like “I’m gonna nap, listen to sad songs, interpretative dance and cry”. I’m basically a well rested mess. This rut will usually last as long as a day or a week.  I know mental health week passed recently and I haven’t shared internetly anything about mental illness in my life. Mental illness runs in my family immediate and generationally  and I tend to put these melancholy times under a microscope. It’s important to take the time to acknowledge and evaluate internally before moving on. I realize these days come and don’t last forever and remind myself overall my life is good so interpretive dance for the greater good no fears no tears. Just me and my weird body moments!

I’ve been in the middle of my families bullshit. It’s inevitable. I thought of Oz as my one way ticket to freedom. To take the flower blooming in a dark room and trust it.  Being here made me realize that shit wasn’t just external and I couldn’t just find poetic justice so easily. It’s internal, It’s my being , weather I can fully admit it yet or not, It’s me. I cringe a little every time I do something or say something exactly like my parents. It’s really so weird sometimes. I thought once I was away from “everyone else’s problems” that things would less complicated ...  could I sound any more naive ?

Anyways I’ve learned I have a lot to deal with within my self. One way I’ve always done this is just being very open with people. When I’m stressed about  some thing I have people to talk to and I do .When I feel something stressing me that isn’t tangible it feels impossible to articulate, even to myself.

Yesterday was blah and I’m glad I have my room mates around. Today has been YAH and I'm even more glad. I’m gonna miss every one I’ve fallen in love with!!!!!

During the road trip I’m going to be like boom boom, driving, yaa yaa, wine in a box, ukulele , camp fires, woah where are we, I love this song! WE MADE IT. Sooo I’m going to post more poetry than lengthy writings. Some poems from the archives, when times are hectic and of course poetic synopses of our caravan crusade.  

 IM EXCITED AND SAD AND THIS IS LIFE. It’s wowie and its wow. If you take nothing else from this I leave with these words:

Eat ice cream for breakfast, ask people about their ulcers, stare wondrously at tall boys, get a pedicure and dance naked.  Fill yourself with pure love where ever and whenever. Because it’s the one thing we always need no matter where life takes us.

Skating and Yoga: Chapter 1 - Raisha’s finds insight to the real world through this contrary couple.

This week I’ve been back on my skateboard for the first time since the first time.  Just casually.  I realized it’s virtually impossible to skate to and from work. It’s stressful enough to be a pedestrian in the city, trying to skate is like trying to rap a viscous Kendrick verse with little to no breaths and dab flawlessly in time for the bass drop . In the wise words of  RUN-DMC .... It’s tricky. So I just go around my area in the evening. I found this really great trail along the harbour it’s so nice!

I see these guys skating in Hyde Park almost every day now I do one of those cool and composed head nods to signal confirmation of their skatrobaticss .  jk lol I can barely walk in a straight line forget trying to not get run over and look like I know anything about skateboarding.

Inhale, change , exhale, cobra pose, inhale, jump or step forward to downward dog, exhale and hold downward dog. Feel your breath, let you head relax, hands closer together hun.

Saturday I attended my first ever yoga class!!  It was nice. I was late and sweaty, I missed stretches . When I got there we were starting a routine of breath, pose, breath, new pose etc. Starting very slowly, very calm, getting slightly faster and than doing it in almost one continues motion.

Honestly yoga felt very confidence restoring for me. I felt capable and calm and cool. Also the simplicity of strength is so under rated. Holding the downward dog whilst controlling breathing seems like forever. I’ve never like an orthodox work out. Sometimes I look at people jogging and want to throw donuts and couches. It’s like a subconscious self induced form of torture!! That’s just my very dramatic, very individual opinion. Anyways yoga is strengthening in terms of focus, relaxation and simple yet very involving movement.

Which got me contriving one of my maybe farfetched yet maybe exactly what the human race needs to be saved, theories.  SKATBOARDING AND YOGA ARE SO SIMILAR.

Think about it

Ah.. Uh huh. Yeaahhh. Okay so you’re with me.

Balance, focus, strength, confidence, homies,  %100 bitches will want you guarantee.

Goodness golly Raisha why so gang ster today. IT’S CALLED A REVELATION. I’m hyped up , flowing, kick push, I’m going, inhale exhale, yoga ing . word

Next Saturday hopefully I’m off and I can go again, who knows what kind of revolutionary cognitive, imaginative, connections will exude from my being as I inhale, kick, exhale , push through this week.

Until then, if you need to read something from the real world to bring yourself back to clarity. Options may include: the American election, vegan recipes or memes combining the two... Better yet sleep till next week and come back here!

Ps. T- minus 2 weeks until I leave for the road trip. Wow wow!!! AND IM TRYING TO BUY TICKETS TO SEESTICKY FINGERS OCT 28 ENMORE. PRAY FOR ME.

For the love of....LOVE

Lately, well actually always I'm thinking about love or loving people, places, things. I just made a bracelet that says "l.o.v.e"  chiya. It's that offical. Particularly since I've been in Oz there are some new loves in my life and I just want to give them some blog love so here I go (in no particular order)

1. feta cheese
2. cornflakes
3.olives
4. pigeons
5. people running
6. when you lock eyes with someone and than both instantly look away
7.touching or high-fiving leaves
8. fashion
9. chicken on a stick
10. donut time
11. cinnamon
12. my co workers
13. de-cafe coffee
14. soya sauce
15. sushi
16. putlocker.is
17. Australians saying "water or art or reckon or ta or how ya going"
18. meeting someone from north america
19. when someone says something about my "accent"
20. grocery shopping
21. peanut butter
22. my ankles
23. the way people panic when it rains
24. the pause between the time the walking light turns green and the first step
....


Oh I knoooww my life is so exciting!! I dont think simple is a bad word. I also think I am easily pleased. Yesterday my roommate and I did the Bondi to Coogee walk , I helped her with her pronunciation of some words! ( she's from France) and she helped me with some French! It was soo funny because for at least a half hour we were singing "drop it like it hawwtttt" and with her frenchy-ness it was honestly the funniest thing. The mind can become so over workerd with worldly problems and responsiblilities. These little things keep me light.  It might be intersting to come up with your own little list!

Stop! Drop! ROAD TRIP!!

Today marks 5 months since I've been in Sydney. A lot has happened . Mostly inwardly . But today also marks 30 days till me, my roommate and a couple friends embark on a month long road trip! Yes you heard it here first folks. 3-4 friends, one campervan and 30 days on the road. We are off to see the wizard, we are headed down the yellow brick road to Oz, preparing for take off, all system goes, one may even use the term lit .

Actually it's gonna be quite hectic! (In case you didn't notice I'm a seasoned aussie now)
I'm one of my last posts I mentioned doing farm work and getting another visa to stay here for another year.... well things change. Hearts break but wounds heal.

Jk there was no heart break involved but basically the job I thought I had fell threw and I thought WHHHAAATT AM I GONNA DOOOO and my lovely roommate said ROOAAADDD TRIIPPP.

And the rest is futurey.

I'm very very very excited for this! I was beginning to stress myself out a lot with finding a farm job and questioning wether it was what I really wanted and gaining weight and feeling blah and the fact that I am an aunty now. YES I'M AN AUNTY. 

 *side note*
I have always been the baby in my family. I have little to no experience with babies and  watching them grow or growing up with them! I take this Aunty thing as kind of an oath. Because I have insider experience being the baby in my family. For the love of all things that cry, poop themselves and are still irresistible, I must protect that child from the craziness that is my family x the world!!!

So yeah I'm an aunty and I want more than being in Australian a second year to be there for my nieces first birthday! I've also decided I want to learn French , do some sort of exchange and than maybe go to university!

Every person I meet, when I saw "I'm from Canada" they say "Oh cool so you speak French" than I say "we, le chat, jaune, undo twat, j maple Raisha" .

Things change. hearts break. wounds heal. Evanescence writes a song, I sang it to the general practitioner when I got my ankle checked out. He didn't get the reference. Life goes on.

Life goes on! And for this newly pudgy, happiness pursing , no longer teenager me goes on, I feel I am blooming .

Compliments to Strangers

It's great how once the weather starts warming up you can see a change in people, like we bud and bloom with the flowers and come out from hibernations like the squirrels. I've found myself enticed by particularities I notice in people I pass everyday. So much so I started a little list. Basically things I don't say because people would be like wtf. Also I want to post more regularly so I'm writing down more small things! 

Compliments to Strangers part 1.

To the man eating bread: I love you

I love how many shades of beige you're wearing

Lady on bike: I appreciate you for wearing a flouresent vest

You smell like the marshmellow scented marker from elementary school that everyone

wanted to eat

That mustache, YES!!

I love you

To the man running: YES YES YES YOU GO

You smell like fresh lotion, the green one, vaseline brand, aloe vera

I want to stick my pen in your pen holder

Jolly good cap chap

Nice shoes

I love your pants

I love you

I just love you

Man on bike vs me  x narrow un-evenfootpath - I shall giveneth way fort thou to pass my brethren

ps. I recently told a man he smelled soooo good .like amazing. he was flattered!

I Wasn't Expecting to Not Have Time

Synopsis of current events :

⦁ 3 weeks ago I bought a skateboard.
⦁ 5 days in hurt my ankle reeaallly bad
⦁ I prescribed myself rap music and ice to help me walk with a more natural looking limp and  ease the swelling.
⦁ WOE IS ME
⦁ watched some youtube videos on ankle injuries and massages
..woe was me. healed !
⦁ FINALLY registered to sell my jewelry at the Glebe markets!!
⦁ Bought tickets to see Allday at Enmore
⦁ Yay is me.
⦁ I worked 11 days straight 2 weeks in a row...tired is me.
⦁ looking for a farm job to qualify for my 2nds visa, before Novemebr 15th
..... and now.

It's just been one thing after another lately!! For 2 weeks my ankle was messed up and it messed me up inwardly. I felt like the world was weighing heavily on me. Literally because I couldn't put any pressure on it. But I was also feeling just miserable and like it would never get better. Twas frustrated with that, working to much, trying to prepare for the market, and look for a new job.

Alllllll these dramatic things happen at once sometimes and its very stressful and discombobulating. Since my ankle got better I feel better all around, like there's a new zest in my step! This ankle injury got me seriously thinking. A lot of things, now this will sound dramatic but I have a lot of my own philosophy's, I make them all the time and my most recent most relevant to my situations now is

"The Human Errors Conducive With an Expectation of Having More Time"

Book launch date to be announced. Patton pending.Now accepting submissions for cover art!

Yesterday I got a farm job to qualify me for my 2nd year visa. I leave in 1 month!!! This weekend I do the Glebe Market. Whilst in between working like crazy I'm trying to complete a list of things/places I want to see before I leave Sydney.

Every Every day I'm hustling.

Is it just me or is there this invisible feeling or mood of having time to do things later that we succumb to subconsciously. sleep, eat, work, sleep , errands, social time, sleep , work. repeat repeat repeat.

It's surprised me the number of times I heard someone say "we'll it'll always be there" usually when were talking about places to go close to home. And since Sydney has become my home, I definitely feel like I wasted some time. Once I moved into the flat I think I got too comfortable. Than I decided I want to apply for my second visa and it was like "suddenly" I have to tie up a bunch of strings I had let hang loose the last 2-3 months.

this is the start of something new, it feels so right to be here with you wooo ohhhh.

Discombobulating is the perfect word. My head is in like 23 different places at once. Which you can probably understand just from this post!

I'm ready for a change and welcoming this new adventure but I've also become connected with so many amazing people here that I'm very very sad to leave!

This next month is going to be crowded! Stay tuned .

as for the skateboarding... to be or not to be- that is the question..

Confessions of a Chocolaholic Pt. I

I feel like my head is going to explode. And my heart is beating in a rhythm that is trying to soothe my mind but inevitably the brain is the center of control. What is it about vanity. I like to say fuck the what! But seriously what the fuck.

My whole life I've been the runt of my family.

"have more you could use some extra weight"

"I don't think you'll ever gain weight"

"Your so tiny how much do you weigh now"

Weight .weight. weight..

Than the people I love came to the stages of weight gain in life, like a brick thrown at a glass friend who used a reflection to flatter you. Until what was reflected was a fatter you.

Failed diets. Lack of motivation. Chocolate. Cheat nights. Holidays. Gym memberships. Pay cheques down the drain. teas. fast fixes. Magazine covers of "skinny" girls "fit" girls "sexy" girls.  Weight loss goals. Weight gained. Weighing the consequences of each meal. Weighing the amount of carbs per meal. Weight. Weight. Weight

Id been an advocate to my friends and family. A jog buddy. A "swear to start my diet Monday" officiant.  Its hard to see beautiful people not feel beautiful. And because of the fucking what that makes anyone feel inadequate because of an exterior image built on fleshy ideals and size ratios.... "suitable weight for your height." ___lbs and I'll be happy. Just want to get back to a size ____. I'm just not happy with THIS weight, THE weight. MY weight.

WAIT!!!

Compared to the weight we see everywhere. The weight that separates the skinny from the fat. The sexy from the brave. The healthy from the careless. ?

Sexy, beautiful, healthy , fit words written on labels with an adhesive that has fastened our eyes on people of a favourable size.

Those words all of which are as much, if not more so, a state of mind!

Confessions of a Chocolaholic Pt II

I feel sexy when I listen to a soulful song and dance with a syncopated twerk. Beautiful when I swim or sing or feel wind or sunshine . Healthy when I walk to work or take deeeeep breathes out the window. Fit when I step in the help move something and surprise people when my strength!

None of those moments are conducive to a number on a scale or the back on a pair or pants.

Yet lately that is the place I'm looking for them all.

Sexy.. maybe with a little less there and more there.
Beautiful... god not with this belly fat
Healthy... the only thing I ingested today that wasn't carbs was water.. when I brushed my teeth.
Fit.. not fitting into any of my clothes anymore.

This is tough and this is what I told people they are more than . Here I am feeling crushed under the... weightt .. of myself.

Since I've been here. I gained 20lbs. which is like WOAH. because it's only been 3 months... and
I'm not used to myself with more of myself in certain places. But on the contrary 120lbs is completely fine!!

This is where I find myself caught between advocate and critic. It's a very messy place to be and I don't want/ feel I need to ramble on more about my thoughts. So I leave you with this...

Last week I sent my sister this email and a picture of me in my bathing suit at my apartments pool. I'm going to publish my email but not her reply due to the fact it's her personal response. But after I sent this to my sister I was feeling a mix of humility and failure with my image and the fact that I hadn't lived up to my own words to her especially about self love in the past. Anyways my sister's reply brought me to tears. I love her sooooooo much. I am taking it day by day to love myself inside and out. so no more holding my breath in front on the mirror and no more cake for breakfast...or at least smaller slices!

To: Threcia
Subject: Me Lol

Soooooo here's me weighing in at 120lbs lol I gained total 20lbs since I've been here.. its been hard for me to handle lately. Its funny I am used to being there for people when they are upset about there weight. Telling them to love themselves and not use the f word... fat.... but I use it like evert day. And you know what .. I shouldn't because 120lbs is just fine and hell yeah ill eat a burger and fries and still have room for dessert. "Sexy" is a dangerous and illusive word. Young girls should be reading Maya Angelou instead of cosmopolitan and seventeen. That being said I just started a 7 day diet . Like wtf is this . I'm not happy with my figure but I refuse to be sad. So I'm trying my best to balance and loose a bit of it because fuck 20 lbs in 3 months... ugh. There my venting <3

Ps. My hairs just braided back not cut off :p


From the wisdom of Justin Bieber. I will like the way I look so much, baby, I am gonna love myself!

Dear Sydney,

It's not you it's me. Well we can call this one even. These past 3 months have been great! Don't get me wrong I love the time we've spent together. Some of the best time of my life. But I'm ready for change now. In fact I'm eager. I would leave tomorrow but I have to wait at least another month. So we still have some time! One last "hurrah" as they say. What do you reckon?

I've made a list, a few things I want to do before I go. I should mention I don't even know where I'm going yet. I heard if I go to Darwin any job I get qualifies for the second visa! Oh yeahhhh I didn't mention that part yet.. well there it is! Yupp! One more year here in Australia, though not with you , you'll always be my first. My first city. Sydney can I say it. I promise I mean it. Don't let this confuse emotion on the notion of my departure..but... I love you. There is definitely  chemistry here. I just need to see more, do something different. Get out of the city for awhile. I reckon it'll be good for me. Actually great!

After my 88 or so days my plans so far include living in a van and collecting CD's. I thought you'd laugh at that one! Seriously though. I should have enough money saved to buy a van and get it on the road. Then from where ever I am I'll pimp my ride and plan a roadie! So you might see me again in the end. Than again a little piece of my heart will always be yours regardless. Pffftt stop you're making me blush. As for collecting CD's that's serious too.. not too many. But I like to listen to full albums lately and being on the road it'll be just perf. Last week I went to the vinnies in Campsie, when I bought my skateboard and bought 2 CD's. I'll call it a blind date because I just judge by the cover. No shame in this case. I read the song titles and pick! roulette! So both CD's ended up being  like heavy rock alternative. Not horrible , I like everything, but not at all what I expected. Which is half the fun!

Anyways let's make my last months here extra special! Hey Sydney, don't be sad!! It's just time! Eventually it gets us all.

Yours Truly,
Raisha

 xoxo

Sawadee ka! The Land of Thai

If I start this with a reference to Pokémon how many people will stop reading..? okay okay I’ll come back to it. But I promise it’s not what you think. Although I shouldn’t make such a presumptuous guarantee because I have no idea who’s reading this with or without Pokémon references and what y’all are thinking regardless. Maybe now you’re thinking TELL US ABOUT THAILAND! Hehe okay.

Day one.

The air was crisp as was I, sharp to leave my flat at the crack of 6:30 am.  10am the air craft of which I was scheduled to board would depart from the land I’ve called home, away from home ,for the past 3 months. I began to embark on a journey to discover a new soil.  A total change for mind, spirit and flesh.

Just kidding..

Yes I am over organized and did what I call a first tier packing about a week ahead. Make sure I had all the basics and a clear mind of what exactly I’d need. Than tier 2 a “re pack” a few days before. The final tier , tier 3 the night before triple check and re think on some things.

So from 6am the morning previous to my departure I’d woken up for work and decided I’m not going to sleep this night. I’ll stay up 24 hours. “NO. SLEEP. TILL. THAIIII LAND.”

5:00pm Home from work. Let the games begin.

Hour one.

I rushed like a mad woman to get my laundry done by 6:30 when the laundry matt closes. I got there at 6:24. (Oh I can hear you sighing with relief and see the corners of your mouth beginning to form a “grin” because yay Raisha you made it ??) They were closed. 6:24..

Hour two... Honestly if I do this is in segments of hours I’ll have to divide 192 hours into paragraphs.

I can’t conceive this baby adventure again. Atleast not in a frame of time that most people’s attention span will allow me too. Since being home, answering everyone’s questions (same same same ness) and going through pictures (rem rem reminisce) and finally uploading them to Facebook. A friend said to me “I like your style of pics and how it discloses your proper vision of the world” and that really means a lot to me. 

1. Because during my time in Thailand for the first time in a while, to this degree, I felt lonely. Ugh. I hate using the word because it’s like a label and it’s like a black bubble. It's such a thin layer around you but you can see out of it. So it was nice to have someone say something so particular to me.

2. Amidst and after my lonely moments I tried to be completely there. Relish  in the fact that I am in Thailand , trying to etch every detail into my brain was like using one of those fascinating yet frustrating  sketch toys. To verify the likeness of a brain to an Etch A Sketch here is a description from

Wikipedia “Twisting the knobs moves a stylus that displaces aluminum powder on the back of the screen, leaving a solid line. The knobs create lineographic images. The left control moves the stylus horizontally, and the right one moves it vertically.”

Now that’s a great metaphor if I do say so myself.

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL. There’s the Pokémon reference. I went with the band aid method for this one.

With 1. the loniless and 2. The relish. I found myself like a wiener in a hotdog with a one week expiry date. Not so great metaphor. I felt more than ever I wanted to capture every moment. Every shade of green , every street name, every statue, shrine and palace, every taxi and tuk tuk driver, every daring scooter maneuver, every smell...well not every. But especially every sonderous ocular exchange with every local and fellow tourist.

It’s this infatuation that led me to realize it’s not feasible. I can’t catch em all. No matter how good the wifi is, how many likes I get on social media, the amount of souvenirs or the level of enthusiasm in my voice when I share my stories upon my return. Most of what made my experience amazing were the things that seem to slip through my conscience. The little things. The memories that happen spontaneously. The moments I carry in my heart that aren’t tangible for my mind anymore.

I think it’s meant to be this way. The connectedness felt when becoming familiar with people and places that are worlds apart from home. Traces of ourselves left behind on the faces of every smiling stranger and an Etch in the Sketch of every acquaintance.

Untill next time Thailand. <3 If I may make such a presumptuous guarantee.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10154381186974933.1073741837.514274932&type=1&l=db9c6c60c2&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.10154381412154933%3Atl_objid.10154381412154933%3Athid.514274932%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1472713199%3A7237121867472751133

No Sleep Till Thailand

It is currently 2:11 am. I have impressed myself . When the idea to pull an all nighter came to fruition I was doubtful towards my abilities to crusade the strong temptations of ..
"the natural periodic loss of consciousness during which the body restores itself ". -Slumber , as defined by Marriam Webster.

Honestly I usually go to bed at 10.... and I prefer to wake up earlier than my alarm... what have I become, this..
"pleb who's circadiam rythym is intertwined with the morning." Morning Person, as defined by Raisha Chamberlain.

It's alright though. Ain't no shame bout it.

ANYWAYS IN LESS THAN 8 HOURS I'LL BE ON A PLANE TO THAILAND.

Due to my lack of sleep and 3rd glass of wine . I will  proceed to conclude this post.

Upon my return from the land of Thai on the 16th of August, a synopsis of my adventures will be written.

Peace and Love!

Macklemoore and Ryan Lewis

I’m so glad I decided not to be cheap. My co workers and I ate lunch in a vacant room the day before and this commercial about life insurance and funeral expenses came on...

Dont leave your loved ones in debt...we’re so glad we got insured with blah blah and saved blah and get blah percent in blah and whatever whatever the kicker here is when they say “age 18-65 to apply”

Like as soon as your 18 you have to think about dyeing and money. The christening for adulthood is basically financial agony. And It’s bad enough we have to worry about money most of our lives. We even have to worry about not worrying others about money when were dead. It’s a vicious cycle. Saturday morning I looked at the bank and sang myself some Donna Summers..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX7MbG6MiQs

Actually I was singing Macklemoore’s Brad Pitts cousin because that’s the first music video that came on rage when I was getting ready for work. It was then in this groove infected moment I purchased my ticket.

T-12 hours till concert..

19:30 ... ARRIVING TO THE ARENA.

Station and buss traffic were heavy and I juuussstttttt made it on the train before the doors closed and I had to push this lady out of my way and I regret nothing. My seat was ummm decent... But I had the end of the row so I scurried down to an empty row.. I had to move not once.... not twice... nope third wasn’t the charm... it was my seat for the opening song but ... by the fourth seat I had finally found the one. The one that wasn’t actually someone else’s paid seat.

Being able to feel something from an artist through headphones and music videos can be so powerful! Experiencing that power with 10,00 other music lovers , with the raw talent and emotion from the artist themselves, is an experience beyond what words can articulate.

Macklemoore x Ryan Lewis are one of my favourite artists. Lyrically authentic, fresh, irresistible, juicy.. Yes I’m eating cinnamon rolls while writing this but let not my taste bud bias distract thou. The style and content of their music is just an incredible manifold ,  flowing into topics from thrift shopping and over popularity of drug use in rap music to body positivity and Mopeds!

His past experiences with drugs and alcohol are a big part of the music as well. The honesty is what I think really resonates with listeners. In between songs Macklemoore spoke to the crowd about funny travel stories and his genuine gratitude for us all being there. Once specifically about being “here” in life. “We’re always saying when we get there yeah then things will be goooood. Next week, after this year of school, when I leave for that vacation . That’s when. But what about now. We have to be happier with where were at . Appreciate it in every situation.”  He talked about peace, justice, fatherhood and ..

DONUTS. One epic moment after the song “let’s eat” he threw donuts into the crowd and saved one very sprinkly very glazy donut. Selected one very very far back (he said “it’s not fair only the front row gets a donut”) dude in beige , hyped the crowd, wound up his throwing arm and _______ *insert sound effect for the toss of a donut of such notability* AND THE DUDE IN BEIGE CAUGHT IT.

“I don’t know what happened but I see a donut in that mans hand, That deserves an award for the most athleticism shown at a hip hop concert “

Not to mention involving a donut!!!!!!

I could either tangent off into the beauty of being connected by music and delve into my soul for paragraphs upon nonsense upon cramped fingers. Or I can end simply with

Last night was by far one of the best nights of my life.

Meeting Anna

I think it's funny how some days you can feel so single in the world , like you don't share enough similarities with A type of people or B type of people. Than there are days like yesterday! Days when the mystical forces that work for good in the universe connect you with someone is a way that is truley amazing!

Yesterday I met my cousin Anna. She was adopted out of my family at birth. Now here we both are in Australia , about 3 generations and just and hour and a half apart.

My Dad is the youngest of 3 kids from my grandmother, who also adopted out one of her children. (I realised there is a lot of hereditary patterns in the family!) My Dad and Grandmother immigrated to Canada in about 1958 . My Dad was 11 and his sister, my aunt Valerie would have been around 20 at the time. I never met my aunt Valeria but she would always write us and I rememeber as a kid being so fasiniated by the fact that I have an aunty in England.

So Fast forward... my aunt Valerie passed away 10 years ago and we lost contact with her children. Untill last year I found her daughter Perri on facebook and we started to catch up. At the time I was just planning to come to Australia. When I told Perri about my plans she told me she found out she has an adopted sister who lives in Australia!

Fast fast forward to yesterday, I met her! We spent the day walking in a cute little beach community , had lunch and than tea at her place. We shared stories about our immiediate families which funnily share many things in common! She told me her story of finding her birth mother and sisters. Anna and her husband used ancestry.com , wrote letters, mailed away for certificates of marriages and deaths and were able to piece so much together! She gave me 3 family tree's from her sisters and mother to my grandmother , back to my great great great great great's . Dating all the way back to 1786!

I felt a strong connection with Anna. It was partly the wow factor of being connected with a person who is directly related to me. Who is so many years and seas apart from me! But also being connected in a metaphysical sense to a whole new realm of family roots. Did I mention ALL THE WAY BACK TO 1786.

That is 230 years of people and places and love and loses , immigrating and working, hobbies and babies, dinners on holidays and cake on birthdays... all the marvelous aspects of human existence. Individual lives. 210 years that are indispensible to my existence. My individual life.

For me yesterday was like an inhertience of knowledge and love from the uniervse. A really extra-ordinary reminder that we are all apart of something in a way that is much greater than we may ever ever understand. Much more than even our acknowledgements of the serendipitous extend to.

"Salutations from the cosmos of consanguinity."

Quote of The Day

"I don't like the outside but I like what's inside"
-Apple Pie and Life Wisdom

Well Hello Again

Well now my posts are out of order. It’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post..The meat is somewhat freezer burned, there are brown spots on this banana, my food got cold and forgotten in the microwave, I left this cash bill in my jeans pocket and it went through the wash.

My blog now has a subtle staleness. BUT I WILL REFRESH IT BECAUSE SO MUCH IS HAPPENING.

1.       I can’t believe July is over in 2 days. which means it's almost my 3 month ozzi-versary

2.       July 25^th my cousin gave birth to a gorgeous human specimen, thus making me, by the rules of genetics and English language.. AN AUNTY. 

3.       I’m going to Thailand in 9 days!!!!

4.       I have a long lost cousin here in Australia; she was adopted out of the family. I’m going to visit her on Sunday!

5.       I’ve officially decided I want to stay in Aus for more than one year and apply for a second year visa. Which means I have to do 88 days of farm work.... BEFORE I apply.. which I didn’t know... I thought I had to do it after I get the 2^nd visa. So in October I’ll be going to Queensland!

6.       I gained almost 15 pounds.... I’ve been killing my self esteem over it. It’s a vicious cycle being unhappy with myself/ my image... I’ve been pumping myself with self worth quotes but at the end of the day I’m being mad at myself for being mad at myself ...vicious I tell you.

7.        I HAVE TO GO INTO FURTHER DETAIL ABOUT THESE THINGS. I’M SO BEHIND.

Now I don’t even know if anyone follows up on my posts but the point is I realized I always start a venture and never give it 100% or never stick with it. Another one of my self proclamations of fame are my theories! My theory relative to what I just stated is my theory for excuses... I believe there are three tier’s or subcategories here. Excuses, Reasons and Reasonable excuses

Examples.

a.       Excuse- Something lousy being said only to avoid task. Has an easy solution. Very little to no sympathy received.

b.      Reasons- Legitimate obstacles preventing one from task completion. Usually received with much understanding.

c.       Reasonable excuses- A layer of a and b. Thus obstructing the doer from doing the doing while receiving minor understanding and compromise!

Anyways I do make a lot of excuses. They seem to just flow naturally sometimes. I always think to myself pathological liar or creative thinker..? it’s one of those many fine lines like Stupid or brave? Lazy or energy efficient ? lonely or alone?

The problem is that I also am convinced I am a weirdness magnet! Because legitimately out of the ordinary disappointments seem to pop up in whatever I do , big or small. For example the website I was using before ..It just crashed... but these types of things happen and I’ve made excuses times I should have been doing the doing and in the end I usually let the flame burn out.

Another vicious cycle.  Life is so full circle in so many ways man.  Big and small , big and small my brother. It’s far out hunnys.

Stay golden and stay tuned.

I'll Call This One Yessssssss

“I’ll call this one Yesssssss”

5 days shy of my 2 months since I’ve touched down on Sydney soil anniversary. By this time I know I want a chocolate cake I'm just not sure what font I want "Happy Anniversary" written in. Even though it's only been 56 days here (1,344 hours, 80,644 minutes 4,838,400 seconds... thanks Google)  I'm really feeling I want to be here longer than just my 1 year visa, like I'm probably going to apply for a second one or study for 2-3 years. This is still a tentative plan but yea it's been swell so far.

The beautiful thing is I'm just living simple, now that I think about it maybe even perceivably boring,  but it's so sweet and splendid I'm satisfied. When I’m not working I've been seeing a lot of live music, I invent breakfast foods, I talk to strangers, eat too much chocolate and In the rare hours that I'm the only one home at the flat, I dance like a lucky sea turtle who just made it from hatched egg to fresh open sea.

This weekend I went to Kiama for a "staycation" (stay-cay-shun; miniature vacation , short distance  from home)  twas a nice little break from the city. Met some cool people. Which is something else I love. On my 2 months anniversary I shall write a list of everyone I’ve met and a special characteristic! The people and short memoirs have been fresh in my brain lately so I don’t want them to get stale.

Today I went to The White Rabbit Gallery. My favourite installation was this story board about a man who moved a pile of dirt ONE MOUTH FULL AT A TIME. With every drop off mouth full he wrote the time with a stick of chalk. I should also mention he did this slithering along pavement. Although I read the description, I forget his name and where exactly it was but what he said about this special work of art was something like "art is always pretty". I read it again, because I thought it was supposed to say "isn’t" always pretty. Which would make the sentence straight forward and the art as well.  So even the way he’s quoted makes you think with a bit more strength. It was very stimulating to watch. A rather unconventional passion. It was a sizable pile of dirt! One mouth full at a time! Spectacular! I'll have to go back to get the name and place.

S Word Count-  42

In a subtly conducive fashion, for my next journal I will attempt charter into incomprehensible waters. Breaking boundaries,*gradual rise in tone of voice*  , bringing to surface, from the depth of Raisha's World.. *clears throat* what just came to fruition to be titled..

Introspective Lexemes

*crowd oouu's*

Curtain closes.